Wednesday, November 24, 2004

My Savior Is Bigger Than Yours

In a move that's sure to have escalating repercussions, a church in Ohio has erected a 62 foot paper mache statue of Jesus signaling a field goal. In a land where neighbors battle to outdo each other's Christmas decorations every year, Ohio has fired the first shot, but surely not the last, in this war of Religious Idols.

Already, neighboring West Virginia, suffering from severe Jesus Envy, is hurrying construction of a 100 foot interactive statue of Jesus' on the cross. According to Reverend Alwaysright at the Church of Our God Could Kick Your God's Ass Any Day of the Week, visitors will be able to ride an elevator built inside the cross and into Jesus' head. Inside, they will find a gift shop carrying everything from autographed bibles to the hottest seller in Christiandom: Passion nails.


When asked whether the tens of thousands of dollars spent on construction of idols like these wouldn't be better spent on the poor and hungry - especially now that the harsh winter months are here - Reverend Alwaysright replied "it's honestly more important that the poor know that we love Jesus more than anybody else. After all, Jesus preached at his Sermon on the Mount that blessed are the idol makers for they shall inherit the Earth."

2 Comments:

Blogger Travis (♀) said...

Funny and scary.

November 24, 2004 at 8:56 PM  
Blogger BradF said...

"a 62 foot paper mache statue of Jesus signaling a field goal."

heheh...smartly blogged good man!

November 27, 2004 at 2:10 PM  

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